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VIP, A+,Blackjack, and Baby.

not excited to live in my apartment this year :( 

i mean, i’m excited to go to school and see all the people i’ve missed and work hard play hard

but i’ve become disillusioned with the people i’m going to live with (except one girl she’s my home girl) and i just don’t have the energy to deal with them you know? they’re so hyper plus i dont know how much of my interactions with one girl in particular is real or not. I’m always going to be doubting her, I can’t trust her anymore after what happened last year. 

It’s supposed to be chicks before dicks, which is exactly what I (we ,actually, it was the whole friend group she fucked over),did but she doesn’t seem to get the concept that the world doesn’t revolve around her. She can’t do what she wants while expecting others to do better. Maybe she’s over it, but my trust has been broken. It’s easy to gain my trust when I open up but it’s hard for me to become open to people so once that trust is broken, ain’t no getting it back so easy. 

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kik: esther9_5

feel free to send me a message :3


does anyone know if stanford has like the whole ‘welcome week frat parties’ thing??? if so pls let me know

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I’ve gotten hit on so much this week it’s ridiculous.
But it just kinda makes me think of him and how much he doesnt care and no matter how many guys’ attention I attract I’ll probably never get his (again)

1. had sex.
2. bought condoms.
3. gotten pregnant.
4. failed a class.
5. kissed a boy.
6. kissed a girl.
7. used a little paper bag for lunch.
8. had a job.
9. slipped on ice.
10. missed the school bus.
Total So Far: 4

11. left the house without my wallet.
12. bullied someone on the internet.
13. sexted.
14. had sex in public.
15. played on a sports team.
16. smoked weed.
17. smoked cigarettes.
18. smoked a cigar.
19. drank alcohol.
20. watched “The Breakfast Club”
Total So Far: 7

21. been overweight. (probably)
22. been underweight.
23. had an eating disorder.
24. been to a wedding.
25. made fun of someone for being fat 
26. been on the computer for 5 hours straight. (?)
27. watched tv for 5 hours straight.
28. been late for work.
29. been late for school.
30. kissed in the rain.
Total So Far: 11

31. showered with someone else.
32. failed my drivers test.
33. ran a mile in less than 10 minutes.
34. been outside my home country.
35. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours.
36. had lice. (head lice um)
37. gotten fired.
38. had a credit card.
39. been to a professional sports game.
40. broken a bone.
Total So Far: 15

41. been unhappy about my weight.
42. won a trophy.
43. cut myself.
44. had an STD.
45. got engaged.
46. been on a diet.
47. tried out to be on a tv show.
48. rode in a taxi.
49. been to prom.
50. played a drinking game.
Total So Far: 21

51. stayed up for 24 hours or more.
52. been to a concert.
53. had a three-some.
54. had a crush on someone of the same sex.
55. been in a car accident.
56. had braces.
57. learned another language.
58. killed an animal.
59. been at a yard sale.
60. been to a japanese steakhouse.
Total So Far: 26

61. wore make up.
62. talked to someone via webcam.
63. lost my virginity before I was 16.
64. had my wisdom teeth taken out.
65. kissed someone I didn’t like.
66. snuck out of the house.
67. bought porn.
68. had a virus on my computer.
69. had oral sex.
70. dyed my hair.
Total So Far: 32

71. gone skinny dipping.
72. graduated from college.
73. wore someone else’s clothes.
74. voted in a presidential election.
75. rode in an ambulance.
76. rode in a helicopter.
77. caught the stove on fire.
78. got in a fight.
79. met someone famous.
80. been on vacation.
Total So Far: 35

81. been on an airplane.
82. been on a boat.
83. broken something expensive.
84. had surgery.
85. kissed someone before I was 14.
86. beat a video game.
87. found something valuable on the ground.
88. made a survey.
89. stalked someone on facebook/myspace.
90. prank called someone.
Total So Far: 42

91. been to a library outside of school.
92. spent over £100 shopping in one day.
93. cut my hair and hated it.
94. peed outside.
95. went fishing.
96. helped with charity.
97. taken a pregnancy test.
98. been rejected by a crush.
99. been suspended from school.
100. broken a mirror.

Grand Total:48/100.

(Source: koenigurie)

I also greatly regret asking my friend to come to Europe with me. Ive been with her all year already and I kind of need time alone tbh. Its vacation for a reason :/ plus im gonna be with family and I need to practice my french
And france is the place I go and I can be free since no one knows me. Its also a part of my life im pretty reluctant to share since she literally has already inflitrated every other aspect of my life.
Seriously she has gotten really close to some of my close friends and sometimes its frustrating bc I dont always want her in everything I do. Its fine if they are friends but what I dont like is that it seems I cant have my own goddamn friends. She literally imposes herself in every aspect of my life and its my fault for inviting her to this one.
I also dont like when im hanging out with someone and they ask (several times; once is ok) ‘oh where is __?’Um we’re not a package deal and if you wanna hang out with her hit her up!

Im going to miss him so much.

And he probably won’t even remember my name two days into summer.